Why I favor mandatory helmet laws

Higgledy-Piggledy
Big Ben (the Quarterback)
Hero of Pittsburgh and
Superbowl champ.

Now fans relate to him
Osteopathically,
Hoping his face heals be-
Fore training camp.

Yesterday morning, Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback, “Big” Ben Roethlisberger was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident. All of the news coverage has noted that Steelers coach, Bill Cowher had given Ben a hard time about riding without a helmet, and former QB, Terry Bradshaw, had admonished Ben to ride motorcycles after he retired. Umm…Ben, perhaps you might have listened to them.

Fortunately, his early prognosis looks good. Despite multiple facial fractures and lacerations, early reports suggest that he does not have any brain, spinal, or abdominal damage. As a human being, I’m relieved that he’s probably going to be alright. As a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, I’m hopeful that he’ll be back on his feet soon. And perhaps the Pennsylvania Legislature will revisit the law that currently makes wearing helmets optional while riding motorcycles.

Hammer* Time

Ethically-Shmethically
Texas Rep Tom Delay
Drew a bright line for his
Breathren to toe.

Congress to K Street, he
Authoritatively
Wielded his power…Hey
Wait, where’d he go?

Tom “the Hammer” Delay, former House Majority Leader, resigned from Congress on June 9, 2006. Under indictment in Texas and possibly under investigation in connection with the Jack Abramoff scandal, Delay chose to resign rather than risk losing his seat in Congress to the Democrats in the November election. Delay’s tenure in Congress was characterized by extreme accumulation and abuse of power. One of his more blatant abuses was his decision to use federal resources to track down Texas Democrats who fled the state to stall what they believed to be an unconstitutional redistricting vote. His “K Street Project” was a seemingly-successful plan to create an interdependence between lobbyists and Republican legislators with the goal of cementing Republican dominance of Capitol Hill. The downside to this plan was that it paved the way for a series of ethics scandals that ultimately led to his own political demise. Oops.

*Tom Delay was known as "The Hammer" when he forcefully and successfully enforced party discipline as Majority Whip.

Hey, look over there...

Havenly-Cravenly
Pandering president
Claims that he honors an
Institution.

Opportunistically
Promoting bigotry,
Bush flips the bird at the
Constitution.

Yesterday, President Bush re-iterated his support for the Federal Marriage Amendment -- otherwise known as the anti-gay marriage amendment. Or as I like to view it, the attempt to return the three-fifths compromise to the Consitution. However, despite my vehemently stong feelings about the proposed Amendment, I'm not going to argue with the content at this time. Because the real issue right now is the utter disdain that the President of the United States is showing for the United States Constitution.

After the Massachussetts high court ruled that the Massachussetts Constitution required the recognition of same-sex marriage, President Bush expressed support for a federal constitutional amendment reversing the Massachussetts decision. (It's nice to see that the Republican Party is still the party of states' rights.) Then he dropped this support after the 2004 election, stating the obvious--it was not going to get through the Senate. Now that his poll numbers are plummeting, his base is deserting him for not championing their issues enough, and the midterm elections are approaching, Bush has rediscovered the FMA as a burning social issue in need of an immediate solution. Even though nothing significantly new has happened regarding the issue and no one expects the FMA to get through the Senate. So the President who has sworn twice to protect and defend the Constitution once again displays his willingness to use it to direct attention away from the real issues the country faces, and to treat like a partisan document that exists to bolster his short-term needs.

The New World Order

Humptily-dumptily
Pre-emptive Bush Doctrine
Hatched fully formed from a
Hawk's cranium.

Tried in Iraq, triggered
Counter-insurgency,
Now Iran's enriching
Uranium.

All I can do is state the obvious about the Bush Doctrine. Announced in 2002, the Doctrine, among other things, espoused the strategies of pre-emptive war and unilateralism, both of which were radical departures from traditional U.S. foreign policy. Largely the formulation of Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle, et al., the new doctrine was the neocon fantasy blueprint for remaking the Middle East.

Needless to say, it has not worked so well. The war in Iraq has not proceeded according to the fantasy planning. And it has strained U.S. resources--and particularly U.S. troops--to alarming levels. In the meantime, other members of the so-called Axis of Evil seem to have decided that it is better to actually have weapons of mass destruction than to be just thought to have weapons of mass destruction. At least in the developing Iran situation, the Bush Administration seems to be embracing multilaterism again.

There wa something fitting and satisfying about using nonsense verse to write about the Bush Doctrine. I certainly couldn't figure out anything intelligent to say about it.

Terrorism in Omaha

Higgledy-Piggledy
Homeland Security
Funds cut for targets D.-
C. and New York

States with tough Senate fights
Coincidentally
Saw increased funding--Of
Course, it's not pork.

The best statement I've read thus far about the seemingly bizarre allocation of Federal Antiterrorism funds came from New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg:

"We tried to do an analysis of some of the moneys and whether or not they were given out for political reasons, and in fact many of the places where they got money--but arguably there's no threat--there are close elections either at the Senate level or the House level. Now, whether that was their motive I have no idea."

An editorial in the New York Times highlights how ludricrous the funding priorities seem to be. Louisville and Omaha get increased funding while New York and Washington D.C. saw their funding slashed. It is beyond obvious that New York, D.C., Los Angeles, etc... are the most likely terror targets, and that if the federal government is going to fund anti-terrorism efforts, it should spend the money to protect the actual targets. But, of course, this is coming from a Homeland Security department that didn't seem to know that New Orleans was below sea level and in danger of flooding.

The Couric Effect

Pickily-Perkily
Co-host Katie Couric
Spent 15 years helping
Today win big.

Scores of accomplishments
Unimaginable
(One colorectal), she's
Earned her new gig

Yesterday was Katie Couric's last day hosting the Today Show. In the fall, she'll take over as the anchor of the CBS Evening News, which has not had a permanent anchor since Dan Rather retired last year. She'll be the first solo female anchor of an evening network news program. There's been a lot of public speculation as to whether the job is the right fit for her. Given the difference between her new job and the one she's been doing for the past 15 years, it's reasonable to speculate about the transition. However, the questions have an inherently sexist quality; had Matt Lauer been offered the job, it's unlikely that his personality would come under such heavy scrutiny.

I am an unabashed Katie Couric fan. She's the reason I watch the Today show, although I enjoy the chemistry of the entire team. I have been consistently impressed with her ability to balance hard-hitting news stories with light segments. She comes across as genuinely compassionate and empathetic when interviewing trauma survivors and, similarly, appears to genuinely enjoy herself on the show. And her decision to have a colonoscopy on the show after losing her husband to colon cancer was extraordinary. Research indicated that her action inspired many viewers to follow suit. Her influence was dubbed, "the Couric Effect." I'll miss waking up each morning to her.